Little Words Humor 1

STRESS ???!!!

You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car and you take her to a hospital. Now that’s stressful.
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate you that you are going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are. This is getting very stressful.
So then ... you request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

After the tests are completed, the doctor says that you are infertile, and probably have been since birth. So, you are NOT the father.
You are extremely stressed but relieved.
On your way back home, you think about your three kids at home.

NOW THAT’S STRESS!!!

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mum, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.”
The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, “That’s interesting. How do you make 
babies?”

“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.” 

A secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss for excellent work. She sent him a ‘Thank you note on email’. The boss’ wife read the mail and filed for divorce in court.
The mail says: ‘Your penis wonderful. I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow, and firm strokes. Initially its tip was to be licked to bring to working order and it is equally good on both sides. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it. I’ve always desired for it and you fulfilled my wish. At last it is mine and mine for ever. Thanks a lot.”

Space is an essential part in English.

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
“Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.”
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened 50 years ago.”

Credit: The Himalayan times (Hi Lama)